Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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