I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
