I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
