Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
