if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
being pregnant is like rehab
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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