allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
