YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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