so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
do herpes really smell.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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