I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
