There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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