So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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