I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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