I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
