At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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