lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
