I should be sponsored by Trojan
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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