the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
