How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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