the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
