I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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