I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
