i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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