This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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