don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
