Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
