At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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