is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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