Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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