ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
