There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
