exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize