It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
