She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize