What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
