I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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