yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize