I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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