ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
