so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
