I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
