Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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