Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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