Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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