I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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