shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize