Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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