JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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