please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
