I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
