dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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