Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
