I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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