I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
