I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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