Soap is not a condiment
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
