No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
