it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
