I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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