It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
