As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
