I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
