btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
